9:00pm, laying on the couch absorbing Mass Medias thoughtless offerings, when my wife crashes through the door. "I have figured it out" she says as she throws her books to the floor and kneels beside me. "What!" I say as I mute the TV in anticipation of hearing the worlds problems had been solved and our credit card bills were going to be shredded at the source before ever reaching or local post office.
"My Program," she responds and begins to explain to me her night at a new meeting place she went to. Turns out the turn out, was on the slim side, a meeting where there was only one other member. Now we have all heard of big things coming in small packages, and this was to be no different. Apparently during some Big Book study, she realized what her Higher Power was, is and always has been. She dropped the title of "Dry Drunk," bestowed upon her by a passed sponsor who in my opinion should not be a sponsor.
To my wife's credit, she has never been bitter or resentful of having to give up the vino. She also was not walking a road of denial with the all empending "Bottom" looming in the distance. My wife embraced her program for almost two full years with great focus, it was only when she started doing what she thought she had to do such as take a sponsor or quickly power through some step work that her program became hard, pushy and time consuming.
Now her sponsors were asking her to put meeting before family, work the steps now, now, now and when my wife would question why she needed to go to more meeting, why she couldn't do the steps in the time frame that worked for her personal and professional schedule, she was branded as a Dry Drunk and resistant to the program.
My wife is the most loving, caring and supportive person I know. Her program only suffers when she is being told she is not doing it the right way. Now I am not in the program, but if I recall they use lots of slogans, one of which is "One Day at a Time." So if a person in recovery is going though life and each day they start with a stretch, and end with a yawn and no alcohol touches there lips I think that would be working your program right!! Call me crazy, seems simple. Live, Love, respect yourself, others and don't drink. If you need a drink, call someone and leave the situation.
So that night when my wife came bursting though the door as excited as I had seen her in a long time, it seemed that a light bulb not only went off, but it blowup!!. She realized that what she was doing was working and it was OK to keep doing what shes doing. The hard part for her will be mustering enough strength to tell her sponser that how they run their program is great. If it keeps them in recovery then it is doing it's job. That does not mean that it will work for my wife, or anyone else but that is ok. What she has and what she does is working for her, and she is sober and recovering, and I lover her the most when she is in love with herself.
"My Program," she responds and begins to explain to me her night at a new meeting place she went to. Turns out the turn out, was on the slim side, a meeting where there was only one other member. Now we have all heard of big things coming in small packages, and this was to be no different. Apparently during some Big Book study, she realized what her Higher Power was, is and always has been. She dropped the title of "Dry Drunk," bestowed upon her by a passed sponsor who in my opinion should not be a sponsor.
To my wife's credit, she has never been bitter or resentful of having to give up the vino. She also was not walking a road of denial with the all empending "Bottom" looming in the distance. My wife embraced her program for almost two full years with great focus, it was only when she started doing what she thought she had to do such as take a sponsor or quickly power through some step work that her program became hard, pushy and time consuming.
Now her sponsors were asking her to put meeting before family, work the steps now, now, now and when my wife would question why she needed to go to more meeting, why she couldn't do the steps in the time frame that worked for her personal and professional schedule, she was branded as a Dry Drunk and resistant to the program.
My wife is the most loving, caring and supportive person I know. Her program only suffers when she is being told she is not doing it the right way. Now I am not in the program, but if I recall they use lots of slogans, one of which is "One Day at a Time." So if a person in recovery is going though life and each day they start with a stretch, and end with a yawn and no alcohol touches there lips I think that would be working your program right!! Call me crazy, seems simple. Live, Love, respect yourself, others and don't drink. If you need a drink, call someone and leave the situation.
So that night when my wife came bursting though the door as excited as I had seen her in a long time, it seemed that a light bulb not only went off, but it blowup!!. She realized that what she was doing was working and it was OK to keep doing what shes doing. The hard part for her will be mustering enough strength to tell her sponser that how they run their program is great. If it keeps them in recovery then it is doing it's job. That does not mean that it will work for my wife, or anyone else but that is ok. What she has and what she does is working for her, and she is sober and recovering, and I lover her the most when she is in love with herself.
